Wednesday, November 9, 2016

Meet Mary

May 13

OMG spent 9 hours in Skype with Michael yesterday. I don't think I have ever talked continuously with anyone for 9 hours in my life. Nothing really significant, just chit chat and laughs and pet battling. Talked about food, likes and dislikes there, small things like that. Since it was Mother's Day I suggested he needed to say Happy Mother's Day to his mom, which he, somewhat reluctantly, did via Facebook. She responded later and wanted to know if he was available for the 4th of July. He had a laugh about that since he will be here, but he didn't tell her that, I don't know what he said, if anything. He said that she probably won't notice that he has moved away. Quite sad, that.

May 14

Michael seems in a better mood these days and isn't drinking. At least at the moment. He is able to maintain a social side better than I have seen in a while. Plus he is talking more openly with me about the move, bringing it up himself, just small comments, wanted to be sure he knew the name of our town so when he told people where he was going he could be specific. That kind of thing. He is much more relaxed about it and much less scared. Getting used to the idea and our frequent small talks about it are doing the job of making him more comfortable. Also, he told me getting that bank thing off his mind has helped a lot too. Because of Hawaii, I won't be around much to talk to him about it in the weeks just leading up to the move so I hope that doesn't make him nervous again. Can't be helped if it does. I'll just deal with it when I get home. If necessary, or even if not, I'll probably be able to find time to Skype him while I'm in Hawaii just to see how he is doing.

We also talked a little about his money situation. I looked into getting Medi-cal health insurance and the process seems fairly simple and straight forward. However I was worried because I didn't know if he had filed taxes or how long he had been out of work. I asked him and he said he had a W-2 from early 2014 which is when he stopped working, but said it wasn't enough to bother filing taxes that year, but that he had his 2013 tax return. That will help a lot when we finally start the process.

May 15

Michael finally told someone about the move, and it wasn't anyone I would have expected. We have a young woman in the guild whom I have known for about 5 years. Her name is Mary, and she and Michael have become very close friends. Mary has had men come on to her in the past and she tends to be a very private person herself, so she was a little reluctant at first when he started talking to her. Michael is a very high energy person with a very charismatic personality (Mary describes him as “wicked charming”). He is not shy at all about telling people, men and women, how wonderful he thinks they are, and he can go on and on in that vein. He is extremely open and honest about everything and doesn't really have any mouth filter at all. So when he is friends with someone it isn't by half measures. She told me she doesn't get that close to too many men because they tend to want more from her than she is willing to give. But with Michael, she hasn't felt that way. Oh, she told me he has hinted, probably more unconsciously than consciously, that if she was interested he would be too, but she says she wants to stay within the boundaries she is comfortable with. Having said that though, Michael is so comfortable with her that he told her about our plans. A huge first for him, and a tangible indication of his increasing comfort with the idea of the move.

I had previously told Mary what we were going to do, but she said she knew he wanted to tell her in his own way so she didn't let on that she already knew. That too meant a lot to Michael. I asked him if he was falling in love with her. He said no. I know he has had virtual romances before that haven't ended well, and it has burned him. So he told me he wasn't going down that road again. But Mary is such a different kind of person than he has been involved with before. She is truly genuine and caring. I don't want to see either one of them hurt. Or their friendship damaged. So, if they are both content to leave it as just friendship, then I won't argue. Frankly, Michael has a lot in front of him and a relationship might just complicate things. I told him that and he agreed, and says he is very content that his libido is under control now and he can appreciate Mary without feeling the need to possess her in any way at all.

May 17

We had another one of our long talks today. The flood gates have opened, and Michael is telling more people about the move. I have told some too, so now it is no longer a secret and I don't care. Originally I worried that because of my position In the guild it would be misconstrued and harm my standing in the guild and cause drama. I no longer believe that will happen, nor will I care if it does. People will think what they will, facts notwithstanding. Michael is so comfortable now that he changed his public note on the roster to read “Linda's Manservant” Talk about announcing it, lol.

He is also ready to tell people on his end. His cousin Rolland is at the top of the list. His cousin David, with whom he lives, knows and approves, but he hasn't told David Sr., who also lives there. There were a couple of others on his list as well, but he didn't mention his parents or his siblings. He now wants to miss raid on Thursdays and spend that time with “his boys” as he calls the two Davids. He says he realizes that will pull time away from time spent with me, but I assured him I'm not concerned. We will have a lot of time together quite soon.

Mary was a frequent topic of the conversation, and I suspect he is not being totally honest with himself about his feelings for her. Only time will tell how that will turn out. One thing he did say is she was able to pull him out of a very deep depression a couple of weeks ago. That was when he went hermity for more days than usual. I didn't realize she had been responsible for his surfacing. Good work, Mary :).

We also talked about “our” future together, expectations, how we will handle inevitable problems, things like that. We discussed our mutual irrational fears. My fear he will harm himself, his fear I may die in surgery. We understand that communication is going to be crucial to this partnership, and as long as we can do that, we should be OK. I told him my son-in-law isn't keen on this and Michael said he realizes not all people will understand, and he can see where Jarrod would be worried about me and very protective. I am assuming they will work that out with time, and I'm not worried about it. Just letting Michael know what to expect. He is such an interesting study, often so adolescent in some respects, yet with clear perceptions of other people and their reactions to him at the same time. He couples that with a strong sense of self and an ability to laugh and make jokes at his own expense, painlessly. If we ever get this guy sorted out, he will be a force to be reckoned with. Someone who could do whatever in the world he wanted to, and people would flock to him. Wicked charming, indeed.

May 20

Couple of interesting notes:

Yesterday there was a lockdown at school. A man, supposedly with a gun, was on campus. Whether he had a gun or not, the police who came did, and their guns were drawn. Everyone was safe, they got the guy, but I want to leave here as soon as we can. Even though he is not here yet, Michael and I are now a “couple” and we go together. I'm afraid we will have to spend a year more here, before we can leave, but that will give us time to see what we are going to do. Regardless, we are out of here in a year.

Second, I was watching a video today called “Fat, Sick and Nearly Dead.” A man's documentary about how he changed his life with a juice fast. Michael and I want to change our diet, improve our health, and maybe that will help with Michael's depression as well. I need to discuss this with him. See if he is willing to incorporate that into our eating plan.

Third, my sister sent me a newspaper horoscope at the beginning of the year, I put it on the refrigerator, it got covered up, and I rediscovered it yesterday. It says, “This year you often see what others don't. They have no way of understanding what they cannot grasp. Explanations will need to be made, and you are the person for the job. If you are single, you are likely to meet someone from midsummer on. This person could light up your life. You might also find yourself in a predicament where you have two suitors to choose between.....”

This sounds so much like reality. Michael and I will meet for the first time face to face on the 17th of June, and will be home on the 21st of June, midsummer's day. Also, that is right after I return from Hawaii. So, two “suitors.” Not to mention the part about seeing what others don't and having to make explanations. I have looked at these newspaper horoscopes for years, but this is the first one that ever seemed to mirror what is actually going on in my life. Coincidence or …. not? For now, just an interesting note.

[Michael is certainly not a “suitor,” though there are some who think he is. But the need to make explanations to others who don't understand why he is here and why I want to try to help him is definitely necessary. Most of my family falls into that category unfortunately. But apart from my daughter Anne Marie, they have little internet experience and don't understand how relationships can be established. But Michael definitely “lights up my life.”]

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