Sunday, November 27, 2016

Our Honeymoon Time, and Family Issues

June 27

Surgery canceled. Infection still present in culture, clear in urine. Very disappointing, but not unexpected. Before I found out Lea called and said her painters were back and the house was torn up, so she made reservations for us at local Comfort Inn. Called her and let her know it was canceled. I think she may not be comfortable with Michael staying there, so before the next surgery date, I will have to come up with another plan on getting up to Irvine.

Anne Marie came over with the girls in the afternoon. That was good fun, Michael had had just enough to drink to be able to be silly with them, and they loved him. He fell in love with them too. But while they were here, Anne Marie said both Lea and Paula had called her and were upset about this arrangement. That Ben and Andrea had called too. I don't know whether to totally believe her or not, frankly, but if it is true, it pisses me off. I am 68 years old and I know what I am doing. I realize they love me and are worried, but they need to have more confidence that I am an adult and not stupid. Apparently Jarrod is mad at me too, though not for that. I didn't tell him about the issue with my eyes so he apparently thinks I was keeping it from him deliberately. I know he loves me too, but I wasn't keeping it from him, just hadn't had a chance to talk to him about it, and frankly, figured Anne Marie would fill him in.. It isn't comfortable for me to think my entire family is upset with me, but not much I can do about it or willing to do about it. It is their problem and they will need to deal with it.

Because of the cancellation of the surgery Michael and I did some drinking last night again, and had another long talk session. This one was more interesting on a lot of levels as it dealt with a lot more than just how he feels about his harem.

The biggest thing that came out of it was his desire for me to understand him, good and bad. He emphasized that on several occasions. He spent a long time telling me about “the monster within” as he puts it. I will try to explain: Apparently Michael and his sibs all have had anger issues and are no stranger to violence. Michael himself says he has worked through those anger and violence issues, but that while he never seeks violence, when/if it presents itself, he embraces it, that it energizes him and he loves it. He calls it a product of his “Nordic blood.” He says that he would never use violence generally, as there are many other ways of dealing with a situation, but if I was ever threatened, or Hamish or the girls, he would not hesitate to use violence to protect us. He told me repeatedly how much I meant to him and he will let nothing happen to me. The sentiment is very sweet and very loving and I accept it for what it is, though he and I both hope it never comes to his demonstrating that.

He also talked in more detail about his parents. He has a serious love/hate relationship with his father who apparently has drug and alcohol abuse issues and has had most of Michael's life. He has mentioned his father before, but this time was more indepth. I think Michael would like to have a relationship with him, he says he loves him, but then he calls him a cunt and a few other bad names. As to his mother, he had nothing to say bad about her, except that she is covered in tattoos and looks like trailer trash. I suspect that in the future, more will come out about them both.

Michael loves (so far anyway) living with me. He loves the house and the property. I don't think he has ever lived in this kind of place before, and in a quasi-family situation. When we were in Minnesota, David called his house a bachelor pad, and in many ways it was. Each one of the men had their own domain and they didn't associate all that much. It was a nice house, clean, but not well decorated. My house is small, but lovely and very cozy. Michael helps me in the kitchen, cleans up after himself, we sit together in the breakfast room to eat and we plan meals together. An altogether different experience from what he is used to. He has never lived with a woman before, except his mother and sisters and that was a long time ago. This is a generalization, but I suspect when men live together as room mates they do much as Michael and the two Davids' did. But we talk and enjoy each other and spend hours together. It is very interesting to me because, at this point anyway, he would rather spend time talking with me than playing in game and talking with the harem. I don't expect it to be like this always, after he is settled in and we are used to being together, he will spend more time in game, but right now, it's nice. [Very true.]
After we came in from being outside, around midnight or so, he took me to his room to show me stuff. He wanted to share some of the music he loves with me. He was going through different kinds of music, worried that I was bored, which I wasn't, and said he had never shown this to anyone before. Oh, he had played music for people online, and sent them links, he did that with me, but to have someone sitting next to him, talking and listening with him, was a new and pleasant experience for him. He was extremely affectionate the entire evening which, as I have said before, I enjoy, but it was more spontaneous and relaxed. He also is much more accepting of affection from me, even asking for back rubs and scratches from time to time. He has told me he generally doesn't like to be touched, but he doesn't mind with me, that he trusts me and is comfortable with me touching him. I'm glad because I am a very touchy/feely person.

We ran out of booze during the night and I have no intention of buying any more. At least not that I will let him know about. He said he would like some for raid, and I guess I am going to make the drinks for him. One before raid, one during break, and one after raid. I will be able to control the proportions and maybe start reducing those a bit. He also won't be smoking as much as I won't let him smoke in the house and he is fine with that. He wants to switch to e- cigarettes, ones without nicotine. Initially more expensive than regular cigarettes, but much cheaper in the long run. And hopefully without the nasty side effects.

June 28

Quiet day, pretty much as expected. I slept in until abut 9:30, almost unheard of for me, and Michael got up around 11:30. He was sleepy but in a good mood. We fixed breakfast together, making some orange strawberry juice in the juicer that was very delicious. We ate breakfast, he helped clean up. Then we parted as I knew he needed a day to himself. I saw very little of him. I had to do laundry which is in his room so saw him briefly then. When my laundry was done he offered to carry it up stairs for me. Then he gave me a big hug. I fixed dinner later and we ate together as is becoming our habit. Conversation was free and not awkward. He has gotten a sunburn and some hives from all the time spent in the sun outside. He says it doesn't bother him, but he needs to be more careful. His skin is so pale it is almost translucent. I need to get him some sunscreen.

It was a no booze day and he got quieter as the day went on. But he wasn't cross or upset. The comfort is still there, even when he is quiet, and that's what I was looking for. He didn't want to talk to anyone, not even his harem. I left him pretty much alone, and will do so tomorrow if necessary and for however long it takes for him to feel sober and recovered. This is where the work begins and I must just be patient and confident in the fact that our caring for each other is mutual and real.
Cute note, I was doing a dungeon with Simon and said I had to go fix dinner. He said “It's hard being a housewife.” Smart ass. Lol. I finally got around to telling him about us a couple of days ago. He and Michael have had their issues in the past, but now that he isn't raid leader, I'm hopeful it will sort out. He said something about hearing about drunken penis touching. I laughed and said at no time had his penis touched me anywhere, then I suddenly remembered what he was talking about. (Ironically, I know the length and diameter of Michael's penis because he told me, lol.) That last raid night, before we left for CA, when Michael and I were so drunk, we were sitting on the floor together and I put my hand on his leg. He was only wearing skivvies and started making jokes about me feeling him up. Talk about hyperbole, but, as the saying goes, the crowd went wild. I don't think anyone in guild had ever heard me drunk before and they got a kick out of it. 

[Ah, the good ole days before things got hard.  We still have good days, but the innocence and "rose colored glasses" days are behind us now.  Now we are in the hard work phase of our unconventional relationship."  

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